Husbands after marriage
I am sure everyone knows Darwin's Theory of Evolution - Slowly But Surely...
Here is my theory of evolution in husbands after the initial honeymoon period in marriage that may lead to new and altered traits (mutation) like these:
Before: Works late night in the cafeteria to sling in a few extra phone calls to dear girl-friend or fiance. Can actually talk about anything for hours and actually does the talking.
After: For the most part tries to be the listener or pretends to be one. When it comes to household chores or in-laws banter, acquires the skill of being partially deaf or phases out. Displays a fidgety behaviour of switching channels never taking the eyes off the screen with just a droning Umm mnn that you get the feeling that you are talking to a stone.
Before: Walmart or laundry on weekdays- No problem.
After: Uses alternatively "being tired" or "I have a bad headache" but goes around hunting for that free live streaming cricket match and calls around to pass it along with great fervour.
Before: Religiously maps out directions for places of interest and actually shows THE WIFE around without expecting her to know how to get from point A to point B.
After: Husband: How can you go there a thousand times and still ask me for directions? This is the last time I am giving it and Don't ever call me if you get lost (Wife:And you have other important work like....)
Before:Makes weekend plans before the weekend for the both of them.
After: Befriends even strangers to gather the team to play cricket on a cold wintry weekend morning. BTW, I'll be back in 2 hrs means - Don't expect me for anything today since I have no clue when I'll be back.
Before: Eager to show off his culinary skills at least on and off and voices praises when THE WIFE is still in the adventurous phases in the kitchen.
After: A sudden acquired amnesia of even how the vegetables look. Can you draw a peerkangai for me - How does it look? Is it OK to get black ullatam parrupu - That's the only one available here (Wife in her head lest he hears this and actually avoids grocery shopping conveniently falling in the "I-don't know-these-things" category - Dude, Have you ever eaten black idlis?).
Before: Teaches his new wife how to make microwave coffee and makes her some in bed.
After: Husband: Do you want to make the dicoction in the night or after you wake up? Make sure you get the Dunkin Donuts coffee powder in case we run out. It does taste like Leo coffee.
Before: The dumber the wife the more pavam she seems to appear.
After: The more she learns the more she has to get better at.
Before: (For the first child) Did you sleep - I heard the baby crying all night. OK, do you need help? When going out- Is the diaper bag packed, Shall I take milk, water?
After: (the second child) When the baby cries : Shuts the door of the faraway bedroom and mutters under breath to remind her to close the door when she goes in. Is the diaper bag packed - Where is it?
Put in 2 kids in this scenario and life can't be more interesting than this. Eh?
Here is my theory of evolution in husbands after the initial honeymoon period in marriage that may lead to new and altered traits (mutation) like these:
Before: Works late night in the cafeteria to sling in a few extra phone calls to dear girl-friend or fiance. Can actually talk about anything for hours and actually does the talking.
After: For the most part tries to be the listener or pretends to be one. When it comes to household chores or in-laws banter, acquires the skill of being partially deaf or phases out. Displays a fidgety behaviour of switching channels never taking the eyes off the screen with just a droning Umm mnn that you get the feeling that you are talking to a stone.
Before: Walmart or laundry on weekdays- No problem.
After: Uses alternatively "being tired" or "I have a bad headache" but goes around hunting for that free live streaming cricket match and calls around to pass it along with great fervour.
Before: Religiously maps out directions for places of interest and actually shows THE WIFE around without expecting her to know how to get from point A to point B.
After: Husband: How can you go there a thousand times and still ask me for directions? This is the last time I am giving it and Don't ever call me if you get lost (Wife:And you have other important work like....)
Before:Makes weekend plans before the weekend for the both of them.
After: Befriends even strangers to gather the team to play cricket on a cold wintry weekend morning. BTW, I'll be back in 2 hrs means - Don't expect me for anything today since I have no clue when I'll be back.
Before: Eager to show off his culinary skills at least on and off and voices praises when THE WIFE is still in the adventurous phases in the kitchen.
After: A sudden acquired amnesia of even how the vegetables look. Can you draw a peerkangai for me - How does it look? Is it OK to get black ullatam parrupu - That's the only one available here (Wife in her head lest he hears this and actually avoids grocery shopping conveniently falling in the "I-don't know-these-things" category - Dude, Have you ever eaten black idlis?).
Before: Teaches his new wife how to make microwave coffee and makes her some in bed.
After: Husband: Do you want to make the dicoction in the night or after you wake up? Make sure you get the Dunkin Donuts coffee powder in case we run out. It does taste like Leo coffee.
Before: The dumber the wife the more pavam she seems to appear.
After: The more she learns the more she has to get better at.
Before: (For the first child) Did you sleep - I heard the baby crying all night. OK, do you need help? When going out- Is the diaper bag packed, Shall I take milk, water?
After: (the second child) When the baby cries : Shuts the door of the faraway bedroom and mutters under breath to remind her to close the door when she goes in. Is the diaper bag packed - Where is it?
Put in 2 kids in this scenario and life can't be more interesting than this. Eh?
posted by Sangeetha at
12:34 PM
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